2015 was a great year for movies and 2016 is looking to be just as good. This year started out with a horror movie, The Forest, because when I think of scary movies, I think of January. But I digress. I’m going to do a series of three blogs about the movies coming out in 2016. Each blog will cover the most interesting movies coming out and each part will cover four months. I’m using IMDB to rely on the release dates so they’re probably right, but even the Internet Movie Database isn’t perfect so if you’re interested in a movie coming out and it doesn’t have a solid release date linked with a trailer, then keep updated as the dates are subject to change. Okay, here we go.
January
This is probably the movie I’m looking forward to the most in January. Ip Man and Ip Man 2 are my favorite martial arts movies. They’re what pop into my mind first when someone mentions Kung Fu movies even though it’s about Ip Man, a Grand Master of Wing Chun. Donnie Yen returns to his famous role and I can’t wait. Ip Man 3 comes out on January 22nd. The Ip Man films have always been two parts martial arts, one part history, and a couple shakes of nationalism. This is going to be the first of Donnie Yen’s big movies this year. He’s also going to be in Rogue One: A Star Wars Story.
Other notable movies: This week, January 15th, brings us 13 Hours the Michael Bay Benghazi movie. It actually looks pretty good. Not like the horseshit he usually puts out. I’m willing to give this movie a chance, just not in theaters. Ride Along 2 also came out this week, so if you were a fan of the first one you’ll have something to look forward to.
January 22nd: Besides Ip Man 3 the week also has Dirty Grandpa, a comedy starring Robert De Niro, Zac Efron, Aubrey Plaza, and Dermot Mulroney. It looks dumb but enjoyable. It’s something I’d wait for Netflix to pick up. The 5th Wave also comes out. Another YA novel turned movie but this time the lead character is played by Chloe Grace Moretz and will hopefully have some personality. Liev Schreiber and Ron Livingston are also in it so hopefully it’s not terrible. They usually do good work
January 27th: Lazer Team a movie by Rooster Teeth. Yes folks, the team that brought you Red vs Blue and hours of YouTube Lets plays. It looks pretty good and I’m going to see it because I’m a fan of theirs but this will probably be a movie you wait to watch on Netflix.
January 29th: This week has a few interesting movies. Fifty Shades of Black actually looks pretty funny. It’s the Fifty Shades of Grey spoof starring Marlon Wayan. The same week has The Finest Hours which reunites Chris Pine and Eric Bana. Add Ben Foster and Casey Afflek to the list and you have a great cast. This one is about a group of Coast Guards being sent out to rescue thirty sailors trapped on a sinking ship. Kung Fu Panda 3 is the last notable movie of the month and I really should watch the first two. Then I may be excited.
February
There are quite a few movies coming out in February but Deadpool is the big one. This is the one everyone is excited for because 20th Century Fox and director Tim Miller seem to realize how badly they screwed the pooch with Deadpool in X-men Origins: Wolverine. The fourth wall has already been broken and the movie isn’t even out yet even the ad campaign is funny. Deadpool does have some good competition though, but I think it’ll win the weekend and stay strong.
Other notable movies: February 5th: The first big movie of the month is Hail, Caesar! by the Coen brothers starring George Clooney, Ralph Fiennes, Tilda Swinton, Scarlett Johansson, Josh Brolin, Channing Tatum, Jonah Hill, and Dolph Lundgren. Yes. Everyone is in this movie. It looks fantastic and I can’t wait. Pride And Prejudice And Zombies is the next big film. It’s based on the book by Jane Austen as re-imagined by Seth Grahame-Smith, author of Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter.
February 12th: Deadpool duh as well as the much anticipated Zoolander 2 which looks like it’ll be only slightly less funny than the first one. Hopefully the long wait since part ones means they put a lot of thought into it.
February 19th: Race is the movie based on the career of Jesse Owens who set out to break multiple world records at the Olympic games when it was hosted in Nazi Germany. Risen seems to be the story of Jesus’s Resurrection as told through the eyes of a Roman solder. If I remember right there’s a biblical story about one of the solders “seeing the light” during the crucifixion and being the first person saved. Though I doubt the movie is going to stay true to the source material.
February 26th: The Netflix original movie Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon Sword of Destiny which will be released in select IMAX theaters. Also on the 26 is Gods of Egypt. I just happened to stumble across this movie when doing research for a book I’m writing. It looks interesting. A CG heavy popcorn flick if I’ve ever seen one. Eddie the Eagle looks like it’s going to be a movie in the spirit of Cool Runnings but just a tad more serious. It’s the story of Eddie Edwards, the first ski jumper from Great Britain to enter the Winter Olympics since 1929. It stars an unrecognizable Taron Egerton of Kingsman fame and a clawless Hugh Jackman. It looks funny and heartwarming. The kind of movie critics would call “triumphant.”
March
March was hard for me. There were two movies I was really looking forward to and they’re both coming out on March 4th. The first, as seen to the left, is the new Disney movie called Zootopia. In true, latest, Disney fashion, the trailer doesn’t explain a thing about the movie. Remember the first trailers for Frozen? It just looked like a stupid snowman movie. But after reading the premise I became interested. The second movie, as seen to the right, is Whiskey Tango Foxtrot. A film about Kim Barker, a journalist who spent time in Afghanistan and Pakistan. I had never heard of this movie before, must like Gods of Egypt, but the trailer caught my attention. Hopefully Whiskey Tango Foxtrot or WTF will help Tina Fey spread her wings. I saw her in This Is Where I Leave You and really enjoyed her performance so hopefully she’ll pull a Steve Carell and leave the awkward comedy behind her.
Other notable movies: March 4th: London Has Fallen, the sequel to 2013’s Olympus Has Fallen. A movie that, while fun, I didn’t think needed a sequel.
March 11th: The Brothers Grimsby is an action comedy staring Mark Strong, Isla Fisher, Sacha Baron Cohen, and Rebel Wilson. I haven’t seen a trailer yet but the synopsis and cast alone make me think it’ll be a good one, but only time will tell. The Other Side Of The Door is a horror movie staring Sarah Wayne Callies (Yes, Lori from The Walking Dead.) And Jeremy Sisto about a woman who looses her little boy and goes to some ghost room to hear him one more time. She opens a door she shouldn’t and ghosts. Yes, ghosts.
March 18th: Allegiant. Okay, let’s move on. Midnight Special looks fun. It’s about a father trying to protect his son who may or may not be a government weapon. The trailers out so check it out, it looks good. The Little Prince is being remade. I just remember the story of the little boy alone on a planet, but now it seems like more is being added to it. Who knows, maybe it was already there but my old man memories are failing me. If you haven’t seen the original The Little Prince then make sure at least your kids do. It’s a magical movie.
March 25th: My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2… because why the hell not? The first one was really funny and it even spawned a failure of a TV show. I hated it and many of you know that I rarely hate something. This seems like an attempt to reel in fans of the original and spark sales in the first one. Okay. I just watched the trailer. It looks funny. Probably not worth the price of a ticket but I’d gladly watch it on a sick day.
April
We can trust Jon Favreau, right? He knows what he’s doing. He brought us Iron Man after all. He’s at the helm for the latest version of the children’s classic. The trailer is fantastic with a very creepy monologue by Scarlett Johansson who does the voice of the boa Kaa. Lupita Nyong’o, Idris Elba, Bill Murray, Christopher Walken, Ben Kingsley, and Giancarlo Esposito lend their voices to the movie as well and the great thing about the casting is that I can hear it already. I think Jon Favreau, or whoever his casting director was, did a great job picking the voices. I never would have cast Scarlett Johansson as Kaa, but now I can’t see it any other way. The 1967 version is one of my favorite Disney movies so I hope they do right by it. The Jungle Book comes out on April 15th
Other Notable Movies: April 1st: Keeping Up With The Joneses stars Gal Gadot, Isla Fisher, and Jon Hamm in a movie about, and I quote from IMDB “A suburban couple becomes embroiled in an international espionage plot when they discover that their seemingly perfect new neighbors are government spies.” I haven’t seen a trailer or poster for it yet but on the premise and cast alone it’s something to at least keep an eye out for. Who knows, it could be garbage. But with so little known about it, it can’t hurt to wait and see.
April 8th: The Boss. Another Melissa McCarthy comedy but this one seems to be a new(ish) character, which is a nice change. This is Ben Falcone’s second movie as director and writer, the first was Tammy. So if you’re a Melissa McCarthy fan, then this is your movie. If you’re not then at least give the trailer a watch and then judge.
April 15th: Let’s start with Amityville: The Awakening it’s the first of two sequels coming out this week that I never even knew I wanted. I wasn’t too excited at first until I saw the trailer. It doesn’t look fantastic, it just looks like a modern horror movie, which I love. If you liked movies like Insidious and The Conjuring then this Amityville sequel is the movie for you. Also on the 15th is another sequel… kind of. Everybody Wants Some is the “spiritual sequel” to 1993’s Dazed and Confused. By spiritual it means that none of the original cast is returning but it’s written, directed, and produced by the same guy, Richard Linklater, and is sort of coming of age story but instead of being in the 70’s, this one is the 80’s. There’s more to it obviously but I’ll save that for my review. Criminal comes out the 15th as well and has an all star cast of Ryan Reynolds, Gal Gadot, Gary Oldman, Kevin Costner, and Tommy Lee Jones. The only think I know about it is that it has something to do with memories being planted into someone else but as for a plot? Not sure. Barbershop 3 is out too but I’ve never seen the first two so I can’t speak to the necessity for a third one.
April 22nd: Oh The Huntsman is back but this time he dropped the dead weight of Kristin Stewart. Her vapid open mouthed stare will have to find other things to do. The trouble is, from the looks of the trailer, the movie looks as soulless as Stewart’s gaze. It has a great cast but looks like it suffers from a miserable plot and terrible CG. I hope I’m wrong. I hope it’s just a poor trailer. This has to potential to be a fun movie.
April 29th: Ratchet and Clank is one of my favorite platformers from the PS2 days and the early years of the PS3. Now it’s a movie because… why not, that’s why. I’m probably going to see this. I’m not even going to lie. The trailer makes it look like the movie is going to keep the fun spirit of the games in tact but it’ll be weird watching Ratchet run around without my hands on a controller. Same Kind of Different as Me is the last movie I’ll talk about for April but I won’t say much. That’s because I don’t know much. Same Kind of Different as Me is based on a semi-popular book that I’ve never read and stars Renee Zellweger, Djimon Hounsou, Greg Kinnear, and Jon Voight. According to IMDB it’s about “A modern-day slave, an international art dealer, and the unlikely woman who bound them together.” Sure, why not. Sounds interesting.