I didn’t want to see this movie but I knew I had to. There are a few, maybe even a dozen of you waiting to hear my opinion on this latest Adam Sandler film. I did my part and saw it and also was able to go into it with an open mind. I’ve been surprised before by movies I thought weren’t going to be good so how about this one? I’m not even going to try to be dramatic about this. No, no this wasn’t good. But allow me to regale you with what made it bad. Here’s my review.
First was the dumb plot ripped straight from Futurama. Now let’s give some credit where it’s due. It wasn’t a COMPLETE rip-off AND it was a funny episode of Futurama. What’s more is that there’s an short film on YouTube by a guy named Patrick Jean called Pixels and while it’s only two minutes and thirty-four seconds, bears striking similarities to the Happy Madison (Adam Sandler’s production company) film.The good news is that they credit Patrick Jean as a writer AND they did it with their own CG to make it look better, but still, there was no originality in this movie. The whole thing is an homage to the 80’s, so that was a positive. I quite liked some of the more obscure references like Max Headroom or the more obvious ones like Fantasy Island and Tears for Fears.
Pixels is branded as a comedy and I did laugh… four times. Yes, I counted. And they weren’t even hardy laughs. They were mere chuckles. The funniest thing about this movie is they managed to somehow get Peter Dinklage to costar. They must have thrown a lot of money his way. Speaking of Peter Dinklage, let’s talk about acting. My friend Nick asked me how the Game of Thrones star did in the movie so let me tell you what I told him. “That’s like asking if Van Gogh drew a good picture with the dry markers he was given.” So Dinklage did as good a job as he could with what he was given. As for Adam Sandler… he played Adam Sandler. This makes me sad because I know he can act. I’ve seen it. Click was way better than it had any right to be. Kevin James, for once, didn’t play the loud fat guy. Well, he was loud and fat, but not in the same way he was in Paul Blart: Mall Cop or King of Queens. The others, Michelle Monaghan, Josh Gad, Brian Cox, and Sean Bean (yes, THAT Sean Bean) were just meh. It felt like everyone phoned this movie in. It’s like they said, in one collective voice, “just give us millions and we’ll show up.”
Pixels could have been just a tad better if there was better writing. I don’t even mean original writing. Just better writing in general. A lot of the jokes were easy and dumb, a standard of most Happy Madison movies. There were quite a few bits that didn’t make any sense even with the suspension of disbelief in full effect. There were parts that left me scratching my head that could have been easily fixed. All one of the writers had to do was put in a line that said “wow, good thing we had this new device that allowed the impossible thing to happen,” and I would have been placated. But no, they couldn’t even do that. I don’t think I’m asking for too much. When Scotty beams someone up I don’t need to know the exact science behind it. There’s a machine and that machine’s job is to teleport people. Done. Let’s move on. I think that’s what angered me the most about Pixels. Lazy writing. I tried to write a play when I was sixteen and THAT had better writing and trust me, it was terrible.
The movie was also very predictable. I called almost everything that happened. You all know, if you’ve read my reviews before, that I’m willing to forgive predictability if a movie is fun. Take 22 Jump Street. It was formulaic and predictable but it was hilarious and fun! Pixels, on the other hand, didn’t have that saving grace.
In the end the movie was boring with only one scene that I’d even consider watching again. I want my twelve dollars back so I can go see Ant-Man again or give Trainwreck a shot. ANYTHING other than watching this pathetic attempt and proving to the world Adam Sandler should still be doing comedies. I can’t recommend Pixels to anyone. It wasn’t terrible, but it was far from being good.
Pixels gets a 3.5 out of 11.
honestly when you know its going to be bland and un-original, you know that its going suck, you know that almost any option is better… its nice to know there are people like you bill that wipe away all doubt and cancel that 1 percent of hope I have that the film might be an upset.
thank you Bill thank you for being that guy. we all need that one guy that weeds though the garbage pile and lets us know we are not missing any gems.
on a lighter note I saw Adam Sandler’s “The Cobbler” on netflix and it was amazingly critically panned and I actually really liked it. I was hoping for a D- and it turned out to be a B+. ill admit the beginning and the ending of the film are wonky but it was a really enjoyable film.
Id love to read about your opinion about “The Cobbler” I hope you add it to your watch pile.