“Don’t Let Them Rape Princess Kenny”

A couple of years back I read a review for ‘Batman: Arkham City’ titled “The Best Licensed Game Ever”.  Up until now I couldn’t argue against that review and it’s crowning of Rocksteady’s incredible, atmospheric beat ’em up. The question I ask now is: how do we judge “the best licensed game ever”? What are the criteria for this title? Are we judging solely upon the level of fun the game provided us or are we also focusing on how accurately the game represents the license? I’m not going to claim ‘South Park: the Stick of Truth’ is better than the Arkham games (I’m not gonna claim anything is better than the 2nd one in particular) but I am saying the moniker of “Best Licensed Game Ever” was once a closed subject. It’s not anymore.

Aesthetic: 11/10  

It just looks and feels like South Park. Scenes are colorful and simple. Every environment and everything in them looks like it was ripped directly from the show. Cartman’s room looks like Cartman’s room, the alien saucer looks like an alien saucer and anal probes look like anal probes. It really blurs the line between the game and the show and is quite an impressive achievement for the developers, Obsidian. Another thing that really brings together the game’s atmosphere is the voice acting which is top notch. Voice acting is one element that can really make or break a game like this. If Stan didn’t sound like Stan and Kyle didn’t sound like Kyle it would have pretty much ruined the feeling of playing an episode of the show. Thankfully everyone who stood behind the mic knocked it out of the park (no pun intended) and the whole game sounds like it is voiced by the original cast. The music is catchy, cute and I would argue the main track is some of the best game music ever. South Park being done in such a minimal style really made it achievable to create a game that is the spitting image of the show and Stick of Truth doesn’t disappoint.

Story: 10/10

The story, written by Trey Parker and Matt Stone, is absolutely perfect. When I first heard they were making another South Park game and that it was going to be faithful to the show I was intrigued. I’ve been a huge fan of South Park since it’s pilot “Jesus vs. Santa Claus” popped up on the internet in the mid 90s. When I heard the two creators would be heavily involved is when i really became excited though. Aside from Baseketball (which was “ok”) these two dudes have been comic freaking genius their whole careers so going into the Stick of Truth I expected to laugh my ass off . I will admit I had some pre-conceived idea that the game would be a little bit toned down compared the show. I couldn’t have been more wrong. Anal probing, race jokes, and the triumphant video game return of Al Gore are a few of the tamer features the Stick of Truth has to offer. The game starts you off as the new kid whose parents send out to make new friends. Quickly you’ll meet Eric Cartman “The Grand Wizard” of the humans who is embroiled in an eternal struggle with the “elves” (Kyle and Stan) to retain The Stick of Truth. Throughout your questing you’ll take a virtual tour of South Park and some other locations that I won’t spoil now. Along your way you’ll meet almost all your favorite characters. Some of them becoming party members, others handing out quests or engaging you in dialogue or cut-scenes. That brings me to the cut-scenes. The game is fun to play enough, we’ll talk about that in a minute, but I would have paid 60$ for 6 gigabytes of these cut-scenes on a disk. They are seriously hilarious. I’ve never laughed as hard or as frequently at a game before. Parker and Stone are masters at making the audience laugh at stuff that isn’t funny or is blatantly offensive. They’ve taken the hit for it before and this time is no different as stories of  “which parts of the game are banned where” have been popping up online all week. I gotta say if South Park really offends anyone that is kind of sad. Eric Cartman isn’t making fun of Jews. Trey Parker and Matt Stone are making fun of people who do.

Gameplay: 8/10

Unfortunately the gameplay is the weakest of South Park’s 3 main components. It’s good and it’s fun, in fact it’s very fun, it’s just not perfect like the rest of the game. The core of the game switches between navigating an over world and fighting in turn based skirmishes. It’s the old school rpg recipe and I am more than cool with that but it has some minor flaws that hold the experience back. Creating a character is quick but effective. The feature set your given provides enough flexibility to personalize your new kid but no matter which options you select he or she always ends up right at home with the rest of the cast. You are given the option of four basic classes; Fighter, mage, thief or Jew. After a fairly long but entertaining intro segment you are sent into the world by Cartman to recruit new members that will aid in defeating the elves and returning the Stick of Truth. Walking around is essentially a left to right/up and down experience which is reminiscent of navigating the board in a table top game. It’s a great concept unfortunately it’s hindered by the lack of radar or mini map. This had me pulling up my map all the time which disrupts the music and is rather annoying. As your character bobbles through the town of South Park you will unlock travel points that make navigation much easier but still require the use of the main map which is just more time spent looking at the menu. There are a good amount of side quests and collectibles to aid in leveling up along your journey and while the game is nowhere near as content rich as Skyrim or some others it isn’t barren either. There is enough to keep you busy. Combat can be initiated through encounters with enemies in the over world or along quest lines. It, like the rest of the game, puts you in the 2d perspective with your party on the left and enemies on the right. Each character in your party will be allotted one item or buff/debuff and one attack per turn. Attacks are “magic” or weapon based and are given bonuses based on how fast you can press/mash corresponding buttons during the duration of the attack. This is my biggest issue with the game. Some of the timing on the button presses is awkward to say the least and no matter how good you get it still feels kind of off. Your abilities and the abilities of your party members are very fun to use otherwise though. Using my mage’s “lightening magic” (car battery) and “dragon’s breath” (firecracker in the face) as well as a wide assortment of party members and weapons made combat feel fairly fresh throughout. You’ll gain Xp as you complete quests and defeat enemies that is used towards leveling up. Each level you’ll gain an abilities point you can use to strengthen your attacks and abilities. Perks are passive abilities earned for making friends with South Park’s residents. Some characters will be your friend just for saying hello to them most will require you to complete a quest or objective before. Shortly into the game you’ll unlock the ability to fart on your enemies or on certain objects. Charging up and releasing your gaseous cloud is done by spinning and flicking the sticks in certain patterns. It’s kind of like Fight Night’s or mlb2k’s controls for throwing specific punches or pitches. It’s touchy, difficult to get right and way to dependent on having a somewhat fresh controller. The gameplay has a lot going for it however the comedic and fun skirmishes, abundance of loot, and clever way of hiding treasures are unfortunately hindered by clunky controls and an over reliance on a bland menu screen.

All in all South Park: The Stick of Truth is a lighthearted, hilarious quest that is truer to it’s source material than probably any game before it. It’s casual-yet-fun take on turn based combat is slightly held back by some input and timing issues but it’s only a minor annoyance and nothing that should keep you from “Goin’ on down to South Park”.

Aesthetic: 11/10
Story: 10/10
Gameplay: 8/10

OVERALL: 9.5/10 

Replay factor: During the game you will make some choices and there are four different classes to play but it is still a single player game so unless you’re a perfectionist or achievement hunter replay value is probably going to be fairly low for you.